The kindness of strangers

[toorsdenote]

(Crossposted from Zoe's blog.)

One cool thing about having a baby is that it has given me a new perspective on people's willingness to help strangers.

The elevator up to the library was broken this morning, so I picked up Zoe and folded her stroller to schlep it up the stairs. A woman stopped to let me know I'd dropped my water bottle without noticing. Then, seeing I had my hands full, she ran down and retrieved it for me.

On the way home I was just going to bump the stroller down the stairs, but I only made it down three steps before a woman coming the other direction grabbed the other side of the stroller and carried it all the way down.

Those are little things, but they happen to us almost every day, from small gestures like holding doors open for the stroller to bigger ones like the woman who held Zoe for 20 minutes to keep her entertained on a long flight. Wherever I am, there is usually someone around who's willing to go out of their way to make my life easier.

This is something I notice more now that I'm a mom and more often could use a hand in public, but I don't think people are only helping me because I'm a mom. Before I'd even made it to the library this morning, I saw a man a block ahead of me take off his coat and hand it to the woman he was walking with. I was curious why, since it's not exactly shirtsleeves weather, but then I heard the sound of an engine turning over. A car had stalled at an intersection and the driver couldn't get it started. The man tapped on the back window of the car, motioned the driver to steer, and then started pushing the car out of the intersection.

You hear lots of stories of communities failing in this regard, of crowds ignoring assaults and passers-by failing to intervene in medical emergencies. Those things happen and are tragic statements about human nature. But it's nice to be reminded of the other side, too -- that most people, seeing a new mom struggling or a frazzled driver unable to start her car, will rush to help without a second thought.

Comments

Strangers Overseas

[(Anonymous)]

Now would you have expected strangers in Qatar to behave the same?

Re: Strangers Overseas

[toorsdenote.livejournal.com]

I don't think I would, no. I can think of two reasons for that. One is that it's a lot harder to help someone when you don't speak a language in common; I've been in situations where I would have liked to reach out to someone and didn't know how. Another is that I think Qatari culture values respect for strangers' privacy more than it values the sort of community feeling I'm talking about here. But I could be making that up; it's just the sense of it I got.

[http://users.livejournal.com/syd___/]

my friend who has recently moved to Switzerland was just noting how many people assist women with strollers there, automatically, but how many also don't do simple things like moving out of the way of others (for example a waiter with three hot plates can't get through a crowd) her public LJ is http://decouvrirai.livejournal.com/ -- i think you two would have some interesting conversations! (she also lived and taught English in China for a few years as part of the Humboldt State University partnership program)

[meshach.livejournal.com]

I'm always struck by that when traveling. Especially when hiking people are just unreasonably kind. Besides all the hitches and directions, there's the people who plan go out of there way to help. At a bluegrass festival a lady waited around most of the morning for us to wake up so she could feed us home made pancakes made with grains she'd ground herself. In another town a group of teenagers threw a barbecue for hikers - not because they were hikers or had any friends that were, but just because they thought it would be fun. It makes me feel like I owe the world a lot of kindness.

Hope you're doing well!
-Jess